I posed the question the other day “Ever have one of those days you simply need a good cry?”. Admit it or not, everyone has them and when you are grieving, they come more often. So why not just own it? Where is it written that we are not allowed to have entire days set aside to purge ourselves from whatever is causing that need to have a good cry? And yes, there is such a thing as a good cry!
Whether the need is out of sadness, frustration or anger we all have days that we know a good cry is the only thing that is going to help us make it through the next several hours. We all know that burying our emotions is a bad idea yet most of us do it on a regular basis. If you continually bury them without allowing yourself a release from time to time the results can be physically and emotionally devastating. Fortunately your body and mind are smart enough to force you to release them on occasion. This usually happens at a time that is not convenient or welcome and almost always in a public place! So do yourself a favor and allow yourself time to purge when you want to, instead of when your psyche and your body force you.
Bear in mind, not everyone defines a “good cry” in the same way, but the end result is the same. Now there is nothing wrong with a physical sit down and cry session, I still use them myself from time to time, but they don’t work for everyone. Some people need to release their emotional strain differently. If you are a runner and that helps you release, take a day and do that in one of your favorite places where you can be alone with your thoughts. Maybe you need to chop wood or use a punching bag to release your emotional stress, then when the tears come they can mix them with sweat and no one will notice. The point being do something!! You are not helping yourself if you chose to keep everything bottled up inside.
I can almost guarantee that no matter how you release, tears will likely be flowing by the end. Let them flow and own it. This is a necessary part of your grieving process and nothing to be ashamed of! It does not make you weak nor are they a sign that you are taking a step backward. Using time this way is not being selfish and it is not being unproductive, work can wait until you are in a better place emotionally. Taking a day or a few hours out of your day when you need to means that you are taking care of yourself in one if the best ways you can.
For a lot of people, present company included, this time of year magnifies the emotional overload. During the holidays we are all about giving to others but how about giving a little to yourself? I know we have a million things going on and feel we don’t have time for a good cry. Either take the time when it works for you or run the risk of a meltdown in the middle of the mall (yes I know this to be true from personal experience!). Give yourself permission for some self-love in whatever form is right for you. Not only do you need it, you deserve it! Take the time you need to keep yourself as whole as possible cause the last thing you want is for the bottle you’ve been filling with emotions to explode!!
A wise woman once told me “Tears are your bodies way of rinsing a layer of grief from your heart and soul. The more layers you rinse the lighter your grief becomes. The lighter your grief becomes the more tolerable it will be. Eventually it doesn’t need rinsed as often as it once did”. That is what a good cry means to me.